Tag Archives: joy

MB Day 8: Body-Mind Connection

by DoinTheGratefulDance

The Body-Mind Connection

In today’s meditation, we will enter a space of inner quiet and put our attention on divine qualities, including love, gratitude, compassion, joy, ecstasy, peace, and equanimity. In this expanded state, the immune system is strengthened as the body repairs the damage caused by accumulated toxicity.  We come fully into the present moment, which is the only place in which we can experience our innate wholeness and wellbeing.

“Look at the human body as a river. Just as you cannot step into the same river twice, because new water is flowing in, the real you cannot step into the same flesh-and-bones twice.” ~The Vedas

The Body-Mind Connection

Nothing holds more power over the body than the beliefs of the mind. This is the quantum worldview, which teaches that we are all part of an infinite field of intelligence, which is the source of our thoughts, mind, body, and everything else in the cosmos.

In every moment, our cells are eavesdropping on our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions and being changed by them. This gives us an immense opportunity to use our mind and intentions to transform our biology.

In today’s meditation, we will enter a space of inner quiet and put our attention on divine qualities, including love, gratitude, compassion, joy, ecstasy, peace, and equanimity. When we evoke these qualities, ego steps out of the way and we feel our connection to spirit.  In this expanded state, the immune system is strengthened as the body repairs the damage caused by toxic experiences, relationships, environments, and substances.  We come fully into the present moment, which is the only place in which we can experience our innate wholeness and wellbeing.
______________________________________________________________________________________
Today’s meditation is led by Deepak Chopra, M.D., the co-founder of the Chopra Center for Wellbeing in Carlsbad, California. As a global leader and pioneer in the field of mind-body medicine, Deepak Chopra is transforming the way the world views physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social wellness.

We’ll evoke emotions that help us activate self-repair mechanisms.

Observe your breath.  On the in-breath, “so”, on the out breath “hum”,  repeat for about five minutes.

Bring uour awareness into your heart  Evoke the experience of love by thinking of a past experience of love, or what you’re hoping for in the future.  Just think about it, keeping your awareness of love and your consciousness will shift into the experience of love.

Now lets have the experience of gratitude.   Think of all of the things in your life for which you can be grateful.  Count your blessings, all of the things in your life.  Keep your awareness in the heart.

Move into the experience of compassion.  Think of someone who may not be as fortunate as you, who is facing some challenge – emotional, physical, financial, and try to be in their shoes and feel their pain, their suffering.

Have an intention – that you can help them, listening to them, spending some time with them, expressing the good things you feel about them, giving them some help.  Experience compassion.  Compassion is the sharing of suffering.  That experience and desire to help is what we call compassion.  That is the birth of love and that is healing.

Move into the emotion of joy, ecstasy.  Remember an experience of extreme joy or imagine one that you would like to have.

Experience equanimity, peace – by returning to the stillness that we experience when we do the “so” “hum” meditation.  Equanimity.

Let go of everything and feel your body, relax into your body and when you are ready, open your eyes.

We have been practicing divine qualities – love, gratitude, compassion, joy, ecstasy, peace and equanimity.

When you’re having any of these emotions, your ego steps out of the way.   It is not possible to have compassion and ego at the same time.

When ego is out of the way, you get in touch with your spirit and you activate  healthy emotions and self-repair, healing, homeostasis.  It is the best way to repair the damage that has occurred in your body through toxic emotions, toxic relationships, toxic environment, or toxic substances.

Wanting

by DoinTheGratefulDance

I was driving down the street today and realized I was feeling very intense.  And my posture was expressing my mental stance.  I wasn’t speeding.  I was just intense.  Then I had an immediate “A HA Moment”.  At almost 72 years of age (however feeling no more than 40 – at the most!) I had a moment of realization – that as a working adult, I have been used to getting what I want.   If I wanted something, I just worked a little harder and got it.  I was not necessarily discriminating in my wants.  And these wants certainly have not always been for myself.  Many times I want to do something for someone else, help someone else.   Sometimes too much.   This morning I was examining my intentions and motivators.   This morning I had a moment of clarity about my long painful lesson and how grateful I am at this moment for what I’ve learned.   It involves ego, self value, intentions, being conscious.  How I’ve tried to fill emotional needs with material things.  The old story.  But now it’s very real to me.

I grew up with very little in the material way.  Our basic needs were barely met.  But we sisters had a lot of fun together and probably because we had very few toys, and of course no tv, became very creative  and found innovative ways to entertain ourselves – built tree houses carpeted with lush moss.  We collected empty cans and boxes to fill our imaginary cupboards.  We usually had a couple of goats  ( I still enjoy them if I don’t have to milk or smell them) and I spent a lot of time following them around and pulling limbs of huge oak trees within their reach – they loved eating the leaves.   We strung laurel tree berries and created beautiful jewelry (to us) – necklaces and bracelets.  We were very competitive – racing and checking to see who had picked the most blackberries and red clover for our Mom.  She gave us a few cents for every quart we picked.  It seemed like a lot of money then.    Our family was large and money was very scarce.  But we had a lot of fun during that time.

My A Ha moment led to thoughts about how I learned to be self-sufficient, creative and so very determined.  There was a point that I remember – in junior high – when I spent much of my time in deep despair and intense “wanting”.  To have things that my school mates had – carefree laughter, nice clothes, a watch, cafeteria lunches instead of homemade bread sandwiches – whole wheat!  Oh no!  Just when white bread was what everyone was eating.   I so wanted to be like everyone else.  And I wasn’t.  I lived in “want”.   I wanted to be different than I was.  I wanted a family that was very close.  I wanted to be close  with my Mom – I wasn’t.  She just wasn’t available.  Neither was my Dad.  They were in a relationship break-down that ended a few years later in divorce.  A very painful and messy divorce.  In a small town where everyone knew everyone else’s business.  Not a fun time.  It was an intense time and I formed some lifelong habits.

The wanting began to be a lifestyle for me.  When I started working at age 14, I discovered that if I wanted something, I could get it.  And that continued and escalated for most of my life.  As an adult, I’ve always had a good job and above-average income.  Eventually I started my own business and literally became a workaholic.  I was lacking in the “relationship department”, to say the least – for many years.    The wanting continued only I didn’t recognize it as “wanting”.  I wanted me – and those closest to me – to have what they wanted.   It was wanting and  it was a habit.  I just worked a little harder if I wanted to do a little more.  I didn’t even get it – but the “wanting” was driving me.   I was trying to keep up with the want habit and I was never enough and I never had enough.  I didn’t think about that consciously – ever.  It didn’t connect for me.   I called it competing with myself to do better.  But I drained myself and was always stressed and “behind”.

I retired a few years ago and my financial picture dramatically started changing shortly after that.  The “A Ha” this morning was a recognition of what has been happening in my life for the last six years.  I was being pushed into a lesson  that I would never have jumped into by choice.  It has been obvious and definite.   This morning as I look back over the lesson years when I was feeling very humiliated and deprived, I realize that I  had all that I needed – and more.   I’m on the other side of this lesson – finally.  And yes – I got it today.  Clearly.   I recognized that for most of my life,  many things I thought were “needs” were actually “wants” and that I needed to learn the difference.  I needed to learn my value (I’m still working on that one) without my props, my things, my kudos.  I am enough.  I say that to others.  I need to listen to myself!

Today, I consciously realize how different my life is now – and why.  During my  involuntary lesson, I was forced to live with less and less, down to real basics – and I learned.    It feels amazing to finally really be living the difference.   With deep gratitude.   I feel a whole new consciousness.   These words don’t begin to define the impact of the reality in my life.  And I can clearly see the difference today.  And I’m grateful.   I’ve almost always questioned myself when spending – do I “want” this or do I “need” this.  But that very rarely had very much to do with my decision.  Today I realized that now it does.

I’ve said the words for years – “as soon as I get something I want, something else will take it’s place.  So just say no”.   I’d tell myself no and then justify reasons for needing it.   Woo Hoo!   I now truly know the difference between wanting and needing.     It’s a new lifestyle that I was forced into by circumstances, part of a lesson, but I’ve come to appreciate it  - deeply.  It’s been an incredibly difficult few years but today I realized how much I’ve grown and the joy that has come into my life.    It’s exhilarating.  Over the last few years, I’ve gotten rid of almost everything that I’m not actually using.  It feels so good.  I was carrying a heavy load of possessions and obligations, chaos and clutter!  Quietly but intensely.   “I don’t have a life” was my mantra for many years.  I kept myself busy even after I retired,  when I wasn’t actually doing something useful, I kept myself busy with stress and “mulling” and inner angst.   Even in my successes, I felt a deep void.  I felt that I didn’t do enough, that I wasn’t enough.    Arrrrgh!

Today I realized that I also have a different view of the wants and needs of those that I’m able help.   I really appreciate that.  Whatever that compulsion was to help others get what they “want” is gone as well.  Now I am free to help people that are in obvious need.   And I feel free to declare that boundary.   It’s such an awesome freedom.    I look for the best use of the comparatively small amount that I have.  I’m finally in control of my wants.  Appearances, status, and ego are not my motivators.  My Dad preached, “Be in control of your money.  Don’t let your money be in control of you”.   Material things do not fulfill my emotional needs.  How many times have I heard and said that!  And thought I understood….

Today I had a few moments of clarity, of remembering how my life used to be.  And how it is now.  Huge difference – in almost every way!   I have a life!   Even with much less, I have freedom!  Wanting is no longer an unconscious habit.  I feel content and relaxed.  I have joy!  My life is so full!

And I’m so very grateful!

Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 10: Joy Rising (Flash Mob)

by DoinTheGratefulDance
Lesson 10: Joy Rising (Flash Mob)

Every Friday on the Oprah Winfrey Show, Oprah brings us a little bit of joy.  And other days as well.  But watch the Flash Mob…and get happy!
Aired: 10/21/2011
Today’s Question…What’s the one thing about joy that you know for sure?

Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes:  

Joy to me is a feeling of deep gratefulness.  I can create joy by focusing on the many things I’m grateful for.  When I watched Oprah’s South African Christmas for the children I felt intense joy so deeply that I was in tears.  Happy and grateful tears.  When you recognize that somebody cares enough about you to show you that you matter, you never forget it.   It’s great to feel that joy but wow!  the chance to give that feeling to someone else is beyond description!  Like Oprah says, it can be the littlest things.  Little things that make a huge difference.  I feel that way about Kiva.  Many small things I can do each day.  I look for them.

And Jake too!  He loves to perform and he’s a huge fan of Stevie Wonder.  Oprah arranged for Jake to sing for her audience and surprises him when Stevie Wonder starts accompanying him.  It gives me goosebumps every time I see it.  And I watch it over and over.  What fun!  For everyone involved.  We the audience.  Stevie Wonder is obviously enjoying.  Oprah is giddy with joy excitement.  And Jake!  I can’t even imagine that anything will top this in his life.  At least in the department of surprises.  He says it’s his dream come true.  Love those dreams!  And when they come true…well…how amazing is that!  Joy!

Nancy Kay meets Tom Cruise – her dreams fulfilled.

The great thing about joy is that it’s so much fun, so satisfying, so fulfilling to share.   It’s contagious.  It brings laughter, smiles and tears.

Joy comes in all forms?  Elie Wiesel is another guest.  How to bring consciousness and joy to such a horrific tragedy?

Clementine won Oprah’s essay contest – Why is Elie Wiesel’s book, Night, relevant today.  Clementine won the contest.  She also lived thru the genocide  in Rwanda.  In just 100 days, 800,000 people were slaughtered.  Men, women and children killed with machetes.  Bodies dumped.  Clementine was 6 ears old at the time.  She and her sister escaped, believing that their entire family had been killed.  They ended up in the US and for 12 years, had not seen their family.  They searched diligently for their parents.  They last saw their parents in 1994.  In 2001, they discovered that their family was alive.  At the time of the reunion on The Oprah Show, they had not seen their family for 12 years.  Had brothers and sisters that they had never met.  The reunion was “amazing grace” moment (Oprah’s description).  I was so grateful that getting to share that moment, even on TV, well…. and Elie Wiesel was there and shared the moment.   Raw, pure joy!

Followup on Clementine… She is attending Yale University.   Her pencil-case is the only thing that she still has from Rwanda.  It holds her Yale Class of 2013 flag.  Her pencil-case  is her touch of the past and a reminder  that she has to be grateful, quiet and …to complete her school work.  She visited and spoke at  Oprah’s school in Africa – what an inspiration to the other children.  Her story is pretty amazing.

If you can’t find anything to be happy about, to fill you with real joy.  Close your eyes and consider for a moment your breath.  You still have it.  You’re here right now.  Let that fill you up.  And build from there.  Allow yourself to feel, experience the joy.

An Oprah message.


Oprah’s Lifeclass
Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 10: Joy Rising (The Flash Mob)
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson 10: Joy Rising (The Flash Mob)
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Today’s Question

Lesson 5: Joy Rising (The Car Giveaway)

by DoinTheGratefulDance
Aired: 10/14/2011
Oprah recounts how she felt in and about what has become one of her most talked about Oprah Shows.   Oprah also shares other moments of great joy.

 Oprah’s Lifeclass Webcast Lesson 5: Joy Rising

Today’s Question:  What brings me joy?  What steals my joy?
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes:
Oprah’s Life Class
Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 5: Joy Rising (The Car Giveaway)
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson 5: Joy Rising (The Car Giveaway)
Oprah’s Life Class Notes
Today’s Question

My Life, My Mortality… and My Loves

by DoinTheGratefulDance

I got some sleep last night – Yay!  And today is brighter…

Writing my letter to Dr. Oz (thank you Sister – for suggesting that I do it) clarified my plight – to myself.  I’m so grateful for some clarity.  Now I have hope again – that I can deal with my fear and get my life back.    I was suddenly able to see the part that fear is playing in my health issues.

I recognize clearly that my fear is about death.  My death.  It’s also in some strange way about the people that I’ve lost in the last 5 years.  I realize that I’ve never grieved them.  I realized yesterday that thinking about them is so painful that I avoid even letting them into my mind.  When they slip into my thoughts, I keep it at a very superficial level – and quickly change my thoughts to something else.

One of my doctors told me that she thought that these losses were having a part in my health issues and that she feels I have some grieving to do.  I heard her say it, I listened, I went thru some motions of grieving but I didn’t really get the connection.  Now I do.

I’m thinking about them today with joy and tears.  I’m honoring them.  I’m missing them deeply.  I miss Dad and my three sisters at a whole new level.  I’m remembering what I loved about them.  I’m remembering fun, funny memories – one of the many times we sisters came from different directions and met for lunch and a few hours together.  Our human pyramid picture.  Our sisterhood reunions. Shucking corn for a dinner.  Posing for pictures together.   What I learned from each of them is such a part of who I am.

And my husband, Dale.  We had such a rocky marriage and a deep unshakable love.  Our friendship lasted thru a divorce until his death in 2007.  He loved me.  Completely.  I loved him in the same way.  We had a bond that neither of us knew how to break – or even wanted to.   It wasn’t a consideration.  I didn’t realize until after his death that he was the reason that I could never move on into a marriage with another man.  Neither of us remarried.  But we didn’t live together either.  We were there for each other – right up to the last phone call the last day of January,  hours before his assumed death.  He lived by himself and when he didn’t return several phone calls, I was alarmed.  When I didn’t hear from him on Valentines Day – a yearly gesture even after our divorce many years ago – I knew something was terribly wrong.  I called the police who entered his home and found that he had passed – they estimated about two weeks earlier.  I handled his estate per his wishes.  I’ve avoided thoughts that he’s gone – always.  Not today.  Occasionally I’ve started to go there and recoiled as quickly as if I had touched a red hot wood stove!  Today, I’m remembering him…so many things.   There were very painful and difficult times in our lives but in many ways he was such a rock for me.  I feel way too vulnerable without him in my world.  I miss him terribly.  So much love!

And Peter.  My love.  We were in each others’ lives for 7 years.   Wow could he dance!   He knew how to have fun.  He was an old school Hispanic man and was such a character!  My Latin Love….  He loved taking care of me – cleaned my home, cooked, pressed my clothes,  was a lot of the reason that I was able to be very successful in my business.  He took care of many things in my life that allowed me the time to focus.  And did I mention fun!  I’m remembering the Las Vegas evenings, all doors open to my outside living area.  He loved cooking in the outdoor kitchen – for everyone, palm trees swaying, warm evenings, music playing and  NO BUGS!!!  We drank wine.  We loved.  We laughed.   He was so incredibly handsome to me – his dark skin, hair -  and bold, warm eyes.  He was gallant and classy.  He sang songs to me in Spanish – all of the time.  He ended up battling major health issues for two years that led to his death.  With such courage.   He wrote love letters to me.  I haven’t read them for a very long time – much too painful.  But I’m going to re-read them as I can, starting today.  Yes, of course there were difficult times too.  But I grieved those at the time.  Today I’m grieving and missing the sweetness, the love, that man.  Towards the end of his life when he was on a respirator, he wrote “Sin Ti” on a piece of paper with x’s and o’s.   I still have it tucked in with his love letters.  He used to sing that song to me.   I miss you so much, Peter!  You made your mark in my life.   Thank you!

And my sisters.  I’m going to write about “The Sisterhood” in another post.  I miss them so much.  They were my three older sisters and my link to so much of my history.  I wish I could have thought of more questions about how they remembered our lives before they left.  There’s no one to answer those questions now.   I know that they each knew how important they were in my life – no regrets there.  I just miss them.   It’s almost impossible to comprehend that they’re so gone!   Today I’ll remember them…

I’ll remember them all.  With so much love and gratitude!  I had – and have – some very special people in my life – some great loves!

And maybe, if I grieve my loss of them, I won’t have to worry about losing myself?  If I honor their lives, I can live mine – fully – without fear?   If I accept and remember their lives – and deaths, will it help me accept my eventual great adventure?  Without fear?  Will it help me live my life without fear?  hmm…

Is the doctor right?

Amidst the grief, I have my joy back today!  I’m starting to let go

Oprahs Life Classes
Joy, Letting Go

Letting The Balloons Go!

by DoinTheGratefulDance

My husband and I had few surprise moments of unexpected glee, joy, just plain fun.

In September, my son was visiting from Las Vegas – a 50th birthday trip.   We had a wonderful family gathering and dinner in our home – cousins, aunties (one had traveled quite a distance), sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, sons, grandchildren – you get the picture.

My sisters picked up some helium-filled balloons.   They’ve lived in a corner of our dining room for two months  (the balloons, that is:).  They’ve hung in there, lasted, they’ve rested against the ceiling.  They’ve been a daily reminder of a very special day with some of  our most loved.  Fun, pictures, good food, a lot of “catching up”.

A joyous day celebrating my son, and each other.   Family who are also friends!

Today, my husband said he was ready to put the balloons away.  And so  was I.  On his way to the door, we looked at each other and, at 71 and 75, we felt like little kids again.  We headed to the backyard, made some wishes, filled those balloons with our worries,  and let them  go.  We laughed.  We watched until we could no longer see them.  We marveled at their movement.  We felt some moments of freedom and exhilaration.   We laughed again.   And we still have our memories of that day.

We also decided that we’ll go buy more balloons and do that again some time soon.   Just because….

Oprah’s Lifeclass…What gives me joy?

Living Fearlessly? But What About My Fear of Death? It’s Stealing My Joy!

by DoinTheGratefulDance

My goal is to live fearlessly but I’m traveling backwards on this one.

I’ve been battling pretty severe hypertension issues this year, volatile and very worrisome.  I’ve been to the hospital seven times now, admitted three, a myriad of tests complete and thankfully finding noting life-threatening.  Stroke and heart attack threatening episodes – yes!  Without going thru details of these episodes, I’m consistently told to come to the ER at my hospital when they occur.

I’m letting my blood pressure terrorize me.  I determine to feel joy in my life but instead, feel fear, dread and anxiety.  How many times can my brain and heart remain undamaged – at the very least – with these assaults on them?   I’m now back in my place of wondering when it will happen again.   I had four months in the early part of the year when my blood pressure was unpredictable and uncontrolled.  When I checked my blood pressure – as told to do before I take my medication – one time it was too low to take my med, and a few days later, it’s 218/112 again!

OK.  If this is a lesson – as I believe it is, I’m open and ready to learn.  I’ve discovered life-changing messages during these months.  With the last revelation - No words can never express…but thank you!  I felt so changed that I had expected never ever to have hypertensive issues again.   That was peace and bliss!

I had no events until four days ago when I was right back to the old numbers.  I had some new symptoms with the elevation and was encouraged by my paramedic grandson to make yet another trip to the ER.  And so I did.    I chose not to have the suggested (by my grandson and offered by the ER doctor) CT scan of my head.  The doctor, a long time and very well respected man – although yes, just a man – told my husband and I several times that from his exam and other tests, that he was 99.9% sure that he’d find nothing on CT.  I was comfortable with waiting – and still am.  I was given some signs to watch for and report immediately should they appear.

My anxiety is back.  Full force.  I’m angry and trying very hard to accept what is happening again and decide that today will be full of joy rather than fear and anxiety.  I have many, many things to be joyful about.  One is that I’m healthy.  Uh…. and why am I feeling this angst and fear?

I walk 10,000 steps almost every day – per Dr. Oz.  While I’m working on my physical health with each step, I’m listening to Eckhart Tolle’s, The New Earth, and Practicing the Now – for my emotional, physical and spiritual well-being.  How many times have I listened…..and each time hearing something different, learning something new.  His books have changed my life.

But there is that nagging, energy-tapping fear! When I get in touch and “feel” and “hear” what I’m telling myself, it’s about the fear of dying.   I love life and want to live it out loud, want to “slide” into my death, without pain and on my feet.  Yes, I believe that’s possible.  I am dismayed that I’m letting fear swallow up my days – whining about fear of dying.

I used to be in denial about my death.  I’ve always known that along with everyone else who lives, I’ll die.  I’ve nonchalantly said those words.  Adding that I didn’t like the thought of it, would probably be hanging on with fingertips, wanting to do or say “just one more thing”, but that I “just didn’t want to be in pain or fear”.  Ha!  Right!  But it was off in the future then.  Except for very rare times, it was not in my thoughts.  I was very sure that there was something that I could eat, a vitamin that I could take, a thought that I could think…..whatever.   “Something” would be there by the time that I needed it.   It just was not a reality to me.  I call it denial but it was more of something that would happen someday in the distant future.  So distant as to not bother myself with thoughts of it.  I loved that place.  I so want it back….

Well now I’m in my 70′s, exceptionally healthy except that I have severe insomnia and am told it is probably the culprit.  Studies are showing how it is related to hypertension.  That is only part of my issue.  Maybe this lesson is about death, another lesson about acceptance.  I’ve discovered that my terror is death.  I want to stay here.  I don’t want to leave.  I have family and friends that I love and can’t bear the thought of leaving.  But even more than that, I’m finding, is the fear of the unknown.  Aaaarrrrghh!

I have a deep faith in God, I have a theory of death that is personal and acceptable to me.  In theory.   If I truly believed it with my whole being, I suppose I’d have no fear.   But obviously I’m not there yet.  I’m working on it.   Acceptance.  Trust.  I know I need to let go and live my life.  I feel that I’m wasting my precious days with this fear.   I’m miserable with anxiety and fear.   Today.   Tomorrow will be better.  I’m going to use Scarlet’s line.  I’ll think about it tomorrow.

to be continued….

My Life Class Notes

by DoinTheGratefulDance
There are two emotions – Love and Fear
Anger is really a manifestation of fear…
Fear of losing the love of someone – rejection
Fear of being powerless or helpless, hopeless, vulnerable (maintain control) – fear of being unsafe
Fear of losing control – of self, others, how, when and where it will happen
Fear of not being seen as valuable, necessary
Anger – never angry for the reason I think I am.  I’m not born with anger in me.  helpless, hopeless, vulnerable event happened that impressed my soul.  Stirs up anger.  When anger is triggered, the trigger is simply reminding me that there is something down there that I need to deal with.
Anger is the easy way out – when I’m angry I get the control.  Anger is the #1 addiction.  Right below the anger is a world of hurt.  It’s easier to stay in the anger than to go deeper and deal with the hurt.
You can accept or reject the way you’re treated by other people but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.  You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life.   You must find the strength to open the wound,  you must stick your  hand inside, pull out the core of the pain, the memory, and make peace with it.
Spirituality – the most real part of me.  My connection to the knowing that no matter what happens, I will be all right.  The knowing that everything that happens in my life is bringing to my purpose, the real me.  Live in openness to what is.  With that openness, a far greater power comes into my life.  Inner stillness – out of this comes aliveness, joy, creativity.  I become rooted in the aliveness and fullness of the present moment.
Spirituality has to be practiced.  We must stop, take a breath, become still inside – the act of meditation and contemplation.  Be in nature, connect with the arts, and connect with ritual.  Moments of serenity, stillness is when we experience something much larger, transcendic than what we are.   Meditate – go into the stillness of my soul.  Breathe.  Look for the message in every problem.  Don’t fight them, ask them – what are you here to teach me?   Share my spiritual path with others.  Find others that are like-minded.  There is nothing out of order with me.  Everything is happening for a reason.  I’m growing closer to spirit.  Pay attention to my life – it’s teaching me.  Listen.  Get clear, still and listen to my soul.   Tap into my best life.  Stillness is my religion.  Stillness is when I can connect.
Meditation – sit and smile.  Smile in my organs, in my arteries and blood vessels.
I understand that everyone I meet is sent to me as a teacher.
I need a shift in the way I look at life – that’s all.  When I discover the world around me, I also discover the world within me.
My inner journey
1.  Ask myself and journal – What do I really, really, really want?  Every day.  The answer will come
2.  Write the happiest moment of the day every night.  Learn it, study it.  Keep it in a happiness journal
3.  Refine my mantra.  Whatever I’m repeating consistently in my mind is my mantra.  If it isn’t working for me – I need to
     choose another mantra.
Entrances are everywhere.  There are accesses to God in all sorts of situations – be alert.  Find a tiny corner of my life for stillness when I can connect and ask questions.
I need to stop wearing my wishbone where my backbone ought to be!
When I experience a truth, I don’t need to experience it again, I know it and I carry it with me.
When we help, we heal.  Find a way to be of service.
Selfishness – beneficial to myself.    Am I being cruel, greedy and hoarding?  If not, do it.
Happiness – the people around me, a state of mind, love, share
What makes me feel good?  Am I missing pleasure?  Am I missing devotion?
I’m the hero of my own life’s journey.  This is my life and I write my own story.  No one else gets to write it – just me.  I get to be who I am.   Does my life look like me?
“I don’t know” is a legitimate answer.  I’m allowed to ask for as much time as I need until I do know.  If they aren’t able to give that time, they’re allowed to leave.
Write to myself as though I were a best friend.  Write out my questions.  Answer myself as a friend.   Listen to it, believe and lean on it.
Newton’s Third Law – For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Cause and effect.
The energy of emotions and  thoughts are frequencies of energy that always come back to us.
Every action we take creates a reaction in the world.  The sum of all those reactions is what we call our life.
The energy I generate creates my life.
Intention always determines what the effect will be.
Love changes everything.  It heals.
If I ask for courage, God doesn’t Zap me with courage.  I get the opportunity to be courageous.
Listen to the whisper.  Don’t wait for the brick to fall on our heads.
Whatever I need to be the greatest force for good…. bring it on!   If it’s a lesson I need to learn, I want the lesson.
Separate myself from negative people and negative thoughts.  Period!  I will not allow them in my life.
If this is in the best interests of me and those around me, then please let it happen.
Who do I want to BE in the world?  what kind of person do I want to be remembered as?   I want my love to effect others.
If I can’t do “it” with love, I won’t do it.  I can either decide to do it with love, or I need not do it.  Before I take any action, I need to clarify my intentions and make sure they are good.  Then good will be returned to me.
The people that I have in my life reflect who I am.
What am I doing to create and attract negativity?
Appreciate the ordinary
Acknowledging my mortality motivates me to live my life more fully.  My days are gold and I use them wisely and fully.
Do You hear me?
I see you
Do my eyes light up when I see…..?
God made me and made sure I am enough!
I no longer think that its possible for other people to hurt me. They’re just giving me their observation and I’m giving it meaning so I get to choose what that meaning is.
If I think I need it, that’s ego. I already have everything I need. The way I know I don’t need it is when I don’t get it.

Am I defined about what other people say? Does it determine how I feel?

When I receive criticism, they could be right.

Does I love you equals I’ll trade you?

Is this a business contract or do I really love you?

I’m happier when I love you – whether or not you love me. It matters not – whether or not you paricipate.

Just the fact that I’m here makes me “worthy”.

Fear is always involved in big egos – there lies our deepest fears.

Will I be sorry that I let this opportunity to pass? Even if I don’t succeed, do I want to give it my best and see? Is it the most meaningful, fulfilling direction?

What is the fullest expression of myself as a human being. What am I meant to do here on Planet Earth?

What would I do if I weren’t afraid? What does fear feel like?

As Maya Angelou explains, people know themselves much better than you do. That’s why it’s important to stop expecting them to be something other than who they are.
Feelings buried alive don’t die. They stink and re-emerge
What would I do if I had no fear? Do it anyway. That’s courage. Be it!
What is my life worth?
Is this the fullest of expession of me?
When I hear criticism – they could be right. It’s their view of me.
Give up resistent to life. Go with it.
When I think I need it from “out there” – that’s addiction.The way I know I don’t need it is when I don’t get it.
Ego is anything that I think I need that I don’t have. I already have everything I need.
Oprahs lifeclass Notes
Oprahs class
Oprahs Super Soul Sunday

Expectations! Lost Opportunities! Oh Really?

by DoinTheGratefulDance

My lovingly awaited great-granddaughter was born three days ago.  I have adored her as my “hoped for great-grandchild” even before she was conceived and my love for her has grown stronger each day.  When I heard she was here, I was in a crescendo of love and emotion.  I was in tears of joy on the way to the hospital.  I couldn’t wait to hold her, bless her, sing and coo to her, feel her little body in my arms and kiss her little neck and eyelids.  And see my son hold his first granddaughter.

Expectations and assumptions.

The Before Story….I was surprised that none of us were allowed to hold her.  Her Mommy didn’t want to share her with any of us yet.  I’ve never encountered that so it wasn’t even in my frame of reference.  Surprise didn’t come as much from expectations as past experiences.  Ellie – my daughter, and Sara – Mommy’s Sister and Sydneys Godmother – were beside themselves with joy as well.  Just before we had to leave, Mommy’s Sister ask if she could hold her new Goddaughter and was given a definite “No” by Mommy.  I saw Mommy’s Sister’s face and my heart ached for her and I forgot my own disappointment.  My two granddaughters’ ‘Nother Mother” – Ellie, Sara and I met later and talked for a couple of hours, expressing our disappointment, pain and yes, frustration.   We decided the moment had passed but there could be another.

After conversation over a glass of wine…I accepted Mommy’s decision.  It wasn’t that Mommy didn’t want to share – it was simply that she wanted to bond with her own daughter – her first chance since she was born!!   When I got my wits about me, I knew, of course, that it was as it should be.   I chuckled at my immature self – at 71!

My great-granddaughter is three days old now and timing has still prevented me from holding her.  I went back to the hospital the night of her birth but nurses were doing their duties and Sydney was fussy.  I know her Mommy was exhausted, had four hours of sleep in 48 hours, plus birthing a child.  She was apologetic and sensitive about the delay in getting to hold Sydney.   I understand all of that.  But I’m still so anxious to hold her!  For the moment it was really enough seeing them all tonight for a short visit.  I was filled with joy.  Sydney Sue was a reality and that sated me.

OK, Oh Mature Adult One!  Quick!  What have I learned?

What am I feeling?  First of all, I realize that I have some innate expectation of being honored as the great-grandmother.  Logical or not, I assumed I’d  get to hold her,  snuggle her and share my joy.   Timing.  I feel honored to get to share the unspoken joy of the moment with all of our family – this moment of new  life.     I will hold her soon, of course.   I love her and welcome her.   I love and adore her Mommy too, my precious granddaughter.  I honor her as a new mother.

Even though relieved, joyous, all of the emotions of having a new life in her life, my granddaughter is appearing a bit overwhelmed, she’s almost certainly struggling with many things – she seems pretty depressed and who would not be with so little sleep.  But she has absolutely no confusion about her role as a new mother and her love for her baby.   I remember those feelings – confusing mixtures of emotions.    It’s an intense time – for her as a new mother.

She’s now in the sisterhood of child-bearer.  I can’t wait for our closeness to manifest itself with that lingering eye contact between my granddaughter and I that says it all – that “we know” the meaning of this moment, even if we don’t have words to speak it.  That we are connecting and acknowledging our love for each other, this new life and in that, all mothers, children and life.

I honor my granddaughter’s choices – whatever they are.  She has every right to live her life and “mother” as she wishes.  She has wonderful hopes, guidelines and plans to be the best mother she can be.  And I’m absolutely sure she will be.  I’m grateful that she is being true to herself and had the courage to care for her needs and feelings.  She has “Mommy Rights”.

Flexibility, patience, 71-year-old grasshopper!

Update – My new great-granddaughter is now four days old.   My granddaughter texted to invite me to visit them.  They’re home, settled in, comfortable and so ready to share the joy.  I’m there!

I was so grateful for all I’ve learned from this new life already.  I was able to look beyond myself, feel my feelings and finally accept that although I totally understand my granddaughters decisions – got over myself and thought of my Beloved Granddaughter -  when I got out of my emotion and became “conscious” – that I could also  acknowledge my own feelings  about it and understand them.   One really has nothing to do with the other – honoring and validating others feelings doesn’t  mean devaluing or dishonoring my own feelings.

And, by the way, I felt my granddaughter and I  had a moment of  eye contact, the “knowing”, the love that could never be expressed in words.

I’m so very grateful!

PS:  Maybe this is why I missed O You?  I so wanted to be there, But!  If I’d had to choose -  my time with my new great-granddaughter and her family?

Yes, I now get it.   And I’m so happy!

A Dear Person is about to leave this earth – And she wants so much to live!

by DoinTheGratefulDance

My husband’s niece  is one of those unforgettable women – I’d describe her energy as magic.  Being around her is motivating and inspiring – nothing special that she says or does – it’s just who she is.  Being new to my husband’s family, I’d heard much about his niece and I’m so grateful that I was able to meet her.   I don’t think I can aptly describe what was tangible to me for the few hours that I was with her.  I first met her while celebrating a Christmas Holiday with her parents in San Francisco a couple of years ago.

We’ve followed her battle with ovarian cancer and recently heard that she may be in the last days of her life here.  We’re both stricken with grief.

She’s strikingly beautiful and I just loved looking at her,  the way she moved, spoke and loved her parents and her two high school age sons, but that was only part of what kept me mesmerized.  It was her energy, her spirit, some intangible beauty that was obvious but impossible to describe.  Her being shouted integrity, love and joy.

She has been thru many, many surgeries for ovarian cancer, several rounds of chemo, has known pain.  It showed  but she wore it well and with such courage!  The kind of obvious that moved me even though she never uttered a word about her pain or battle while I was with her.  She was full of joy, fun, an excitement about being with her Mom, Dad and Uncle and very cordial on our first meeting.  I can’t even imagine being in her shoes.   Hmmm.  She needed a new pair of shoes and we shopped that afternoon.  How a woman shops says a lot to me.

Being with her those few hours made an indelible impression on me.  She is truly unforgettable.  I don’t mean to gush and even if I didn’t know her brave story, I would describe her the same way.   One of her  sons was with her and although a “jock” and at that age…. he still was unabashedly having fun, affectionate with her – sometimes holding hands with his Mom as they walked thru busy streets.  They were close.

The obvious closeness between she and her Mom was moving.  I’m very close to my daughter as well and recognized the unspoken respect and love.   I must mention that her Mom is battling the same dreaded disease – ovarian cancer.  They discovered it at nearly the same time and have both managed to survive for over six years – have disregarded the odds and have lived a full life despite their challenges.  With such courage.   Both of them.  There is obviously a special knowing between them that I can only imagine – comrades in battle!

Knowing them, and my other close friends and family who have had cancer – they’ve been dealt a really tuff hand to play – makes me want to live my life well, love well.  Some of my friends have survived and seem out of danger.  For that I’m grateful beyond words.  I never forget the friends I’ve lost over the years.  They are deeply missed.

Barring a miracle – and for that I pray almost constantly for my husband’s niece and sister – “our” niece will soon be taking her extraordinary energy and be on a new adventure.   I picture her – in all of her inner and outer beauty – joyous and happy in her new being.  I barely know her and I will miss her immensely.  Just knowing she’s no longer on this earth -  and on Facebook!   I downloaded her picture.    I don’t ever want her face to fade from my memory.   Her face is a reminder of courage and love and to live every moment to the fullest.  That’s what she has done.

And my heart aches for her parents and family.   For all of us who know and love her.  She wanted so much to live to see her grandchildren.   She has given it a gallant effort.

I know the Lord is already holding her in his arms.    Good Bye Dear Girl.  I’ll see you later!

And I’m still praying for a miracle….