You Are Enough!


Dear Daughter…

I am so grateful for our relationship…our freedom to speak our truth to each other…the acceptance…the understanding and support.  Both ways.  I hope you feel my love as deeply as I feel yours.

I understand your pain.  Probably better to say that I know how I felt when I was in your circumstances.  I’ve been there.  Divorce is brutal.  And the things that lead to divorce are devastating.

I am so proud of you and how you’re handling and learning.  How you’re making a conscious decision to help your sons through this – and consistently following thru with that decision.

In spite of the pain, I can’t help but feel joy at your growth- and for the outcome of all of this – no matter what it is.   I have to say I’m pretty amazed when I see your resolve, your mission to go through this with unconditional love for your husband, even when he’s making some very painful choices for all of you.  I’ve watch how you process events, and consistently keep from “reacting”.  The time you take to get yourself back so that you can respond in a loving way.  That is strength! I’m learning from you.  And so are others.

Yesterday when we were talking on the phone and I heard you questioning your appearance, who you are, your worth…well, that’s what I want to put in writing and hopefully you’ll re-read it when you find yourself questioning.

This is my truth to you

  • You ARE enough.   There is absolutely nothing more that you need to be.
  • I’m glad you’re considered “very attractive” physically.   However, in the “looks” department, there is always someone more beautiful, cuter, whatever…it’s a futile exercise, this comparison thing.  And it’s truly “in the eye of the beholder” anyway.  EVERYONE has something beautiful about them if we look for it.  He has chosen a younger gal, someone you consider “really cute” and I understand how devastating that is.  It would be a blow to any wife’s self-esteem.   Finding our way thru midlife can be a precarious journey for some.  Please just remember not to measure your self-worth by his behavior.  He’s admittedly very depressed, feeling very low about himself and his decisions.   Say “Stop it!” to your thoughts when you have a moment of measuring your worth by his actions.  Concentrate on what you know about yourself.   Lean on the rest of us during those times.   We’ll remind you of your “greatness” when you temporarily forget.  That’s what family and friends are for.  You are surrounded by many of us who see you clearly.  And like what we see.  Screw him!  Woops!
  • You are intelligent, kind, funny and such fun to be with.  You have a wonderful positive energy that lights up any room that you enter!  Look at the friends that surround you, the kind of people and clients that you attract.  That is a direct reflection of who you are.  Your business success attests to your integrity, caring and expertise in your career.   Your relationships with your sons and the rest of your family says everything about you.
  • You’ve been a joyous little spirit since the day you were conceived – since you were a mere flutter in me belly!   You’ve always been curious and full of adventure.  Through all of this pain you’ve been open to learning and growth.   You’ll get your joy and thrill of adventure back.  It’s who you are so no one can take any of these things away from you.
  • Remember how God has opened paths and doors that gave you such definite direction during this most difficult period of your life.  Remember your real boulder.  And all of the other rocks that are there for you anytime you need them.  And how much they care.
  • You are important -in fact vital – to me – and the universe.
  • You will have joy again.  You have a wonderful happy life ahead of you – full of love.

I’m so very grateful for you! And I love you deeply,

Mom