Stopping the Pain


Notes from Stopping The Pain

Owning myself- owning my power.  Doing what the Creator put me here to do.

Just how great is my God?  The power of the divine in my life.  He is ALWAYS there.  It’s not a case of his coming to me, it’s about me opening myself to him in me – he’s there all of the time.  Every moment of every day and night.   Sometimes I use meditation to quiet myself and acknowledge his presence in me.  To me, it’s all about God.  In my life.  In me.  Recognizing the blessing in each moment.

What fear is holding me back.  What am I not forgiving?

“Until you heal the wounds of the past, you will continue to bleed”  Iylana

I’ve always had the power.  I know my purpose.

How would you fill in this sentences?  The pain I can’t get past is ….

Why It’s OK to put myself first..

10 Steps to Letting Go

Verbal Abuse – How To Save Yourself

When it comes to my  life, am I in pain?  Mentally, emotionally or spiritually.  Am I holding on to something in the past that causes me pain? P-A-I-N …Pay Attention Inward Now.    When we’re hurting inside, we usually reach outside to fix it.  So, when we’re reaching outward for a fix, pay attention to what is going on inside.   Bleeding means that my life force is leaking out.

Pain is not natural.  We usually mask it and call it something else.  We diminish it and talk it down,  When we have pain  we need to feel it, deal with it and heal it.   Feelings of inadequacy are major causes of pain.   Men  tend to feel inadequate.  Women tend to feel lack of self value and worth.

When you are a strong person, others don’t give you permission to bleed.  Do not allow others to dismiss, disregard, deny your pain.  Find someone who will listen – someone who hears you.

Iylana says…”Don’t get “stuck in Stupid”
When you see stupid coming, cross the street”

When we’re strong, many times we’re not being authentic…we tend to put others first.  How we treat ourselves is how we treat God so when we put ourselves last, we put God last.  I am the representative of God in my life.   We then put other people and other things ahead of God in our life.  Our life is different than our service.  We have to put God first in order to be able to be of service to others.  We want to be self-ful so that we are able to give to others.

A Course in Miracles says…”When we give to others to the degree that we sacrifice ourselves, we make the other person a thief.”  They don’t want to be and they dont even want to be.  We do both ourselves and the other person a dis-service.

Before we judge anyone else with addiction, acknowledge whether or not we struggle with our own addiction – any addiction – food, pleasing others, sex, alcohol, drugs, lying, shopping, addiction to our story? ….

Ask…Who would I be without my “story”, my addiction?  Our addictions keep us distracted from our greatness.  God wants nothing for us but our perfect happiness.  Wherever we are, God is right there.  Our perfect happiness is already here.

Quit telling your victim story…cold turkey stop!  No more.  Write your own tapes.  Rewrite your story.   Separate if  from your experience – don’t tell the story again.  Find the bottom line – ask what our heart needs to hear from someone else and tell it to us – ourselves.  Write our new story – make it nurturing, fulfilling, positive.  Positive!

If your thoughts are bringing you stress or sadness, change you thought – throw it out and think another thought.

How do we get unstuck and tell the truth.

1.  Tell the absolute truth about who you are, what you want, about what you’re willing to do and what you’re not willing to do.  State the fact.  Speak the truth.  Reinvent yourself, re-define you story.   There is a distinct difference between stating the fact (I love BooBoo) and speaking the truth (BooBoo is a weasel).  State the facts, speak the truth.
2.  Ask for what you want.  Have the courage to ask for what you want, be willing to get a “no”.  But have a clear vision of what you’re going to do about it.
3.  Get a vision.

People stay stuck in the pain, stay stuck in bad relationships because they are not truthful.   They have a picture of what they want ‘It” to be instead of what it really is.  There is a difference between a picture (externally generated) and a vision (internally generated – brings joy).

Be truthful.  Be relentless in our truth.  In spite of any confrontation that it evokes.  Don’t engage in the confrontation.  Be gently strong in our truth.

Expectations cause us pain.   When we ask, we have a picture of what it will look like.   Identify what we really really want before we ask.  We can’t get what we want when we don’t know what we want.  Before we ask, dig deep and find out why we want what we’re asking for.   When we ask, we are given exactly what we should have.  Ask for what we want and then be grateful when we get it.  Everything within the process is exactly as it should be.   We are God’s hands and feet on this planet.  Shower our “answer” with God’s love.  Listen to God for direction.

Fatherless sons, Fatherless daughters have a big hole.  Love fills the hole.  God is love.  Let God fill the hole.

“You are never angry for the reason you think you are….there is an older hurt that hasn’t been dealt with.  Deal with it and the anger will be dealt with.”  Iyanla

Oprah’s Lifeclass Tour – Stopping the Pain