Lesson 1: The False Power of Ego


Class:  The False Power of Ego

October 10 Webcast with Oprah and Eckhart Tolle

Oprah shares what she now thinks about one of her most talked-about moments and offers advice for recognizing when our egos  are getting the best of us and ways to help set ourselves straight.

Today’s Question:  Where does my ego get in my way?
See what others are saying

Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes: We can’t begin to be true ourselves unless we know who we are.  No thing, no material possession matters in terms of defining who you are.

When we get separated from our “knowing”, our inner place, we get lost.  We get into our ego.

Ego is defined as any identification with form – identifying with anything that is not the center of ourselves – things, status, position, possessions.   Ego is a dissociation from my true value.   Ego is a false sense of self.   When a child starts to identify with an object, the ego starts.   The moment I can identify my ego, I diminish its power.

When I get in touch with my true self, my awareness, that is me disguised as a person.

A guest said…”I no longer think that its possible for other people to hurt me. They’re just giving me their observation and I’m giving it meaning so I get to choose what that meaning is.”
The ability to know the truth of yourself and to have awareness is how you disconnect from the ego.
If I think I need it, that’s ego. I already have everything I need. The way I know I don’t need it is when I don’t get it.

Am I defined about what other people say? Does it determine how I feel?

When I receive criticism, they could be right.

Does I love you equals I’ll trade you?

Is this a business contract or do I really love you?

I’m happier when I love you – whether or not you love me. It matters not – whether or not you participate.

Just the fact that I’m here makes me “worthy”.

Give up resistence pto life. Go with it.
When I think I need it from “out there” – that’s addiction.The way I know I don’t need it is when I don’t get it.
Ego is anything that I think I need that I don’t have. I already have everything I need.
Oprah’s Life Class
Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 1: The False Power of Ego
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson 1: The False Power of Ego
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Today’s Question
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Thoughts…Things I learned today


I want to know God’s thoughts…the rest are details.  Albert Einstein

the way God thinks…
Without force
No one is excluded
Always giving – never expects back

We come from the same place – the way of Tao is a return trip.  We are all coming back.  Full circle.  In everything we say, do and live.

We shall not cease from exploration but at the end of all of our exploring will be to return to the place from which we originated and know it for the first time.  C.S Lewis.   No beginning and no end, no boundaries.  Just is.

The Tao that can be named is not the Tao….Labels
Once you label me, you negate me and now I must live up to that expectation.  Labeling creates conflict.

Those who speak do not know.  Those who know do not speak.

Does what I own own me?  Get rid of as much of the 80% that I don’t use as possible.

How does nature act?  The softest thing overcomes the hardest thing.

Rigidity and stiffness is the companion of death
Flexibility is the companion of life

I believed something on Monday
Tuesday happened
On Wednesday, I had learned something that led me to believe something totally different than I did on Monday

Ego – (E)dge (G)od (O)ut  A collection of ideas that we carry around
I am what I have
I am what I do
I am what other people think of me – my reputation

I’m already connected to everything I need – I simply need to align myself to it.

Give-Give-Give – Practice benevolence
Be grateful
Live my life in a state of awe of my surroundings
Live joyfully

Nature teaches:
No tree has branches so foolish as to fight among themselves.

I want to live like water.

60,000 thoughts every day.  Are they the same as yesterday?
Are these thoughts true?

Forgiveness – the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it…

Give up blame

Living life conflict-free.  How to live with no enemies.
Become more flexible and open

Self Value – How could that which is perfect, that which is divine, make anything imperfect?

Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday
Interview with Wayne Dyer

When I Know Better – I Do Better – My Maya Angelou Mantra


I feel that I hurt, turned off, scared, dumped (not about her)  on my daughter yesterday and she’s either hurt or very turned off.    It wasn’t anything devastating, in fact it was expressing myself about my own issues.   But she was trying to help and couldn’t and I have no idea about how she actually took it.   I wish I had taken a deep breath and made sure I knew how she took it.   I have a feeling she somehow ended up feeling guilty about “something”.  If I could have a “do over”, I’d have left her after making it clear to her that she had nothing to do with my pain – I think she knows – but I’d feel better had I made that clear.  That I didn’t expect her to “fix it”.   I feel I left her in my emotional turmoil.  She’s in a pretty painful place right now, going througha divorce, and I imagine our experience yesterday left her with some feelings of her own to deal with.

I  later texted her – her preferred communication – apologizing for expressing my anger and sadness in a way that I didn’t like.  She hasn’t responded.

She’s been in a very fragile state for the last couple of years and I’ve tried to be there for her.   I’m already pretty worn out trying to deal with some of my own presently heavy issues that she is not a part of – and still be there for her.  I realized recently that I’m feeling a little sad that she doesn’t realize – or at least express – any acknowledgement of what I’ve helped her with during her divorce.   It’s clear she’s had a lot of comfort from our talks and being together, a few “A Ha” moments.  She invariably attributes these to others.  She openly and often expresses gratitude for others who are there for her – and I’m so glad they are.  Deeply grateful for the love surrounding her.  She invariably attributes one of “our A Ha moments” to someone else when she’s recounting to me.

Is it my Ego?  Wanting to feel appreciated some times?  Acknowledged?  Does it really matter who helps her as long as she grows and finds her way?  My egoless self would certainly say that and most of the time I do.  While writing this I just realized – I want to know that she feels like my cherished daughter – a special, not to be duplicated relationship, not me as merely a friend.

We’re extremely close but rarely physically affectionate.  We’re more best friends than Mother-Daughter.  I know that’s appropriate for where we are now but I think I was not a “Mommy” – a consistent safe place – when she was growing up.   I still yearn for that feeling between us, even more as I get further away from the time when it was appropriate.   It’s loudly missing – and has always been missing.  She wasn’t a cuddler, but neither was I.   I missed that as a child and I wasn’t even aware of it.  I certainly would never have given it to my kids.  I was pretty emotionally detached in most ways in the past – from everyone – so that I’m so glad that we’ve been able to sustain the closeness that we have and see it grow as adults.  I guess it’s an intense mother-daughter closeness expressed in the best way that we both know how and are comfortable with.

The first time I can remember “feeling” a hug was when my daughter was about five years old.  My sister and brother-in-law were visiting us from out of town and just leaving our home.  We were in the driveway and my sister hugged me – which she did a lot.  All of a sudden I realized that I was being hugged and especially realized that I wasn’t hugging back.  I did it awkwardly.  It was an emotional milestone in my life that I’ll never forget.  That feeling.   I had always just stood motionless when anyone hugged me.  I got plenty of hugs – from my husband, family, kids – but never felt it until then.  That was the beginning of learning to relish hugs.  My children were about 5, 10 and 13.  I weep for the disconnection I taught them.   I wonder what pain and difficulty attaching they have experienced all of these years.   I’ve watched them as adults and they’re all very physically and emotionally affectionate and connected with their families but that missing part of their childhood  has to have affected them in some pretty deep ways?  Maybe they learned what they don’t want to be?  I’ll start a conversation with them at an appropriate time and hope for healing where needed.  I know from experience that it’s never to late.

Thanks Maya Angelou – once again I say to myself… “When I know better I do better”.  That helps.  And now I hug my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren every chance I get.  And really feel it.

And I’m grateful.