Lesson 12: Holding On to the Past


Lesson 12: Holding On to the Past

Oprah believes that a universal issue for so many of us is that we are holding on to the hurt and pain of our past.  In this class, five sisters have been entrenched in a bitter feud for years and find ways to move on.  Getting on with the “now” can only be accomplished by letting go of the past.  Some insight from Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 12….
Aired: 10/25/2011
Today’s Question:  What memories of the past still dominate your thinking?  What do you need to let go of?

Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes:  Oprah says, “It’s not just letting go of the past, it’s all bigger than we can ever imagine.”  We all want a  better life.  How do we get there?  

Are we living in what could have, what should have, what we wished could have been?  Living in the past is one of the biggest detriments.

Five sisters’ relationship went from a simple misunderstanding to a full scale war.   The conflict was affecting the sisters emotionally, physically and spiritually.   When we see defensiveness, that person is in pain and needs love and acceptance.  It took a major tragedy – the loss of one sister’s son – to bring them to wake up.    18 years later the sisters reconciled.   Jackie’s oldest son was dying of AIDS and a sister, Vicki took him in.  In order for her to see her son, she had to be in Vicki’s home.   The reconciliation had begun.

When we resort to name-calling, it means that we are out of control and we’re using that to bring more value to ourselves.

The only person we ever have any control over is ourselves.  We have a choice in how we see the situation, or we can remove ourselves from the situation but we  cannot change the other person.

Whatever energy we are carrying from the past, we carry into the future and that energy colors everything we do and experience.  It blocks us from being all that we were meant to be.

Forgiving is necessary to let go of the past.  It doesn’t mean that we say “it’s ok”.  Forgiveness is acceptance, not approval.

All of life is about “waking up”.

When the Oprah Show first started talking about men having affairs, women in the audience were adament that they would never put up with it, they would leave.  That attitude gradually changed over the next few years – in the 90’s.   Oprah says that she has discovered that men don’t cheat because of someone who is more attractive, smarter or…. He cheats because of how another person makes him feel.

In 2008, Psychiatrist Gary Newman, found that men cheat because they feel underappreciated, unimportant, not admired.  Men want to feel valued.

Unless the other man (or woman)  completely understands and expresses remorse for what they have done, it’s very difficult for the betrayed person to get over it.   Both parties need to sit down and talk about it openly.  Give yourself permission to deal with the issue.  It takes time to build trust again.

Not everyone can get over an affair.  You need to decide for yourself  if you can or can’t get over an affair.  If you decide that you can – then really get over it.  Deal with it and let it go.  You have to deal with the past or it will continue to show up in your relationships, your health, in every aspect of your life. If you can’t get over the affair, then move on from the relationship.  Don’t live in between.  There needs to be emotional closure.

On losing a loved one…with Gary Zukav… Oprah says…It’s not just about letting go of the past.  It’s about the ultimate lesson for us as human beings.  I am not my body, I am not my circumstances, I am not what everything looks like.  I really am a higher level of being and consciousness that is a soul.  My personality is not my soul.  My personality is here to serve my soul”.

We, our lives, are bigger than what it looks like.

A couple lost a new preterm baby, a twin.  They were both born perfect but on the third day after their birth, Ryan had a brain bleed.  He could not save the baby.  The parents went into a tailspin, were having a difficult time not letting this tragedy take over in their lives.

Gary Zukav counsels -“Look at Ryan as a soul, like everyone on this earth, that left this earth when it chose, then you will have a different perspective.  You will be able to see the gifts that this soul gave you during it’s short stay on this earth.  You will reach a place in your life where you are grateful that this soul chose to be with you for however short a time.  If you do not, you will live your life feeling that a tragedy has occurred.  Whenever you see your other son growing up, you will say Ryan should be here.  You will be placing a burden on your other son, the twin, because no matter what he does, what he accomplishes, he will be causing Mommy pain.  If you look at Ryan as a great soul who voluntarily entered the earth school and voluntarily left it in, you will begin to fathom and appreciate the interaction that you had with that soul and you will be able to receive the gifts that this soul came to earth to give to you and your family.  And if you do not, then you will continue to be turning away from those gifts.  You will be denying the very wealth of wisdom and compassion that was offered to you by this soul. ”  The soul is a great deal more than just a personality.  Interact soul-to-soul.  Recognize the power of the soul.

Many others were impacted by this story.

Oprah says that this story gives us a glimpse a notion that you are bigger than your body and your personality.   Oprah called this a holy moment in the room that day.   Oprah says it reminds her to stop and and think about her own soul and everyone around her, causes her to just for a moment to disconnect from the egos and personalities around her,  and to recognize that it is all bigger than we can ever imagine.

“You are not your circumstances.  You are a higher level of being and consciousness that is a soul.”  If we think life is only what we can see, then we are missing the whole point.

Oprah encourages us…”When you lose somebody in the physical form, the formless becomes an angel that you know”.

“Life is much bigger than just a body.  When you are grieving over the loss of a loved one…sense the presence of their soul, which is always with you, instead of the personality that is gone.”

Oprah quoting Iyanla Vanzant…”You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people.  But until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.  You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life.  You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick you hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.”

Oprah says…”The sooner we can let go of the past, the sooner we can get on with the “now”, our daily life.  If we don’t let it go, it becomes a wall, a barrier, and it prevents us from the vibrancy, the aliveness, the glory that our life should be. ”

Oprah’s Lifeclass
Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 12: Holding on to the past
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson 12: Holding on to the past
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Today’s Lifeclass Question

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Lesson 11: Your Life Speaks to You in a Whisper


Oprah talks about one of the greatest principles of life – Listening to the “whispers.” Practicing this principle saves lives.  Ideas on learning how to recognize moments when your life is trying to tell you something.
Today’s Question: What’s the whisper you’ve been hearing for a while? What will you do about it now?

Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes:


Oprah’s Lifeclass
Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 11: Your Life Speaks to You in a Whisper
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson 11: Your Life Speaks to You in a Whisper
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Today’s Question

Lesson 09: You’re Responsible For Your Life


Lesson 9: You’re Responsible for Your Life

Oprah discusses her motivation and beliefs about herself from early in her life. She and others show how they’ve taken control of their lives to effect change—and how we can use the same principles in our lives.
Aired: 10/20/2011
Today’s Question:  Where are you waiting for someone else to create what you long for?
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes: 
Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson #9: You’re Responsible For Your Life
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson #9: You’re Responsible For Your Life
Oprah’s Lifeclass
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Today’s Questions

Lesson 8: When You Know Better…


Lesson 8: When You Know Better…

Maya Angelou is one of my very favorite people.  She’s had a major impact on my life.  Oprah shares some of her Maya Angelou lessons.  Oprah relives some of her  most difficult moments and gives some insight on how to respond when you we do or say something we wish we hadn’t.
Oprah’s Lifeclass: Lesson 8:When You Know Better
Oprah’s Lifeclass Webcast Lesson 8: When You Know Better…
Today’s Question:  What do you know better and are now doing better?
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes: 
Oprahs Lifeclass Lesson #8: When You Know Better….
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson #8: When You Know Better
Oprah’s Lifeclass
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Today’s Questions

Lesson 7: Aging Beautifully


Lesson 7: Aging Beautifully

Webcast Lesson 7: Aging Beautifully

Some very glamorous women —Cybill Shepherd, Jamie Lee Curtis and Ali MacGraw— talk about how they’ve felt about being defined by beauty.  They share their lessons and insight  on how we can develop our inner selves – a key to beautiful aging.
Today’s Question: What’s the best thing and the hardest thing about the age you are now?
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes: 
Oprahs Lifeclass Lesson #7: Aging Beautifully
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson #7: Aging Beautifully
Oprah’s Lifeclass
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Today’s Questions

Lesson 5: Joy Rising (The Car Giveaway)


Aired: 10/14/2011
Oprah recounts how she felt in and about what has become one of her most talked about Oprah Shows.   Oprah also shares other moments of great joy.

 Oprah’s Lifeclass Webcast Lesson 5: Joy Rising

Today’s Question:  What brings me joy?  What steals my joy?
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes:
Oprah’s Life Class
Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 5: Joy Rising (The Car Giveaway)
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson 5: Joy Rising (The Car Giveaway)
Oprah’s Life Class Notes
Today’s Question

Lesson 3: You Become What You Believe


Aired: 10/12/2011
Oprah talks about the importance of having faith in ourselves.   Her interviews are with former guests Jim Carey, J.K. Rowling, Ralph Lauren and others who talk about the nature of our beliefs and how they affect what we achieve.
Today’s Question: How would I fill in these blanks?
The one thing I wished I had become is_______.
The one thing I will become is _________. 
See what others are saying
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes:
What do I believe is possible for me?
The only way to know my purpose is to go inside, listen to the purest light of myself.  Pay attention to what I’m doing right now
I deserve and am worthy of the very best the world has to offer
There is a reason why I am here.  Still my mind and find the truth in that.    My job is to figure out what that is and then follow that belief.
Visualize what I want.  Ask – Believe – Receive.
Most of the time in life we don’t get what we “want”,  we become/get what we believe.
I am worthy of happiness, love and peace.  Believe it.
Life often speaks to us in “signs”.  Be alert and conscious.
What is my value to myself?  Is this the fullest expression of me?  What are my beliefs about what I deserve – subconsciously and consciously.
Everyone in my life is a teacher.
Most of what we adults do during their lives is based on beliefs formed during the time between birth and five years old.  A belief can be formed when a message meets an emotional moment.
How do we know what beliefs are running our lives?
Watch our thoughts.   What am I saying to myself?
We link habitual thought patterns to our daily activities.
Our beliefs become the way we live our lives.  And we will prove ourselves right.
Beliefs are thoughts.  Thoughts are energy.  
Everything is energy.  We carry it with us everywhere we go.  What energy are we putting out in the world?
What is happening in our lives reflects what we believe.
We may not be getting the right information, or enough information to achieve our belief.   Get support to brainstorm.
What am I thinking on a daily basis – about my situation?  Start actively believing that I can be abundantly successful with what I’m doing.  Be still and listen to myself.
Be my own best friend.  I will tell myself what I would tell my children or my best friend.   Have my own best interests at heart at all times.  When I love myself I can’t help but love humanity.
Every thought we think, every word we speak is an affirmation for the future…
Affirmations:
Affirmation plus action equals miracles.
Abundance flows into my life in surprising and miraculous ways every day.
Every time I turn around I get a check in the mail.
People love to pay me for my art.
Every time I turn around I have a new idea for a painting.
I can make a good living from my art.
I am a woman who will not accept less than what I’m worth
Life loves me.
Only good lies before  me.
Act as if….
When I find myself speaking badly to myself, I say “Stop it”.  I ask, “Whose voice is that?”  Challenge the voice.
We’re all meant for greatness.   We need to have people in our lives who remind us of our greatness when we forget.
We need the love and support of others but more than that, we need to love and support ourselves.
“Our deepest fear is not that we’re inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light and not our darkness that we fear most.”
Making ourselves small does not serve other people.
How is what I’m doing serving the world?
How to teach children to believe?  One powerful experience with one adult can make a life changing difference in a child.   Teach affirmations.    Get dry eraser markers, give them to children and allow them to write affirmations on the windows, mirrors.  Let them make their own affirmations.  Tell me something that’s wonderful about you?  Have a bowl of affirmations for children.
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 3: You Become What You Believe
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson 3: You Become What You Believe
Oprah’s Lifeclass
Today’s Question